Thursday, November 30, 2006

Deflatable Christmas

The other day, as we were driving through town, my daughter Sara caught sight of some deflated Christmas lawn ornaments. “Look at those lawn things. They look like they’ve died,” she said.

“Murder!” I cried. (I know, such responses could be dangerous to my children’s health, but, really, we just laughed. The lawn ornaments looked so absurd.)

Anyway, I immediately redeemed myself with a literary suggestion. “That would make a good poem.”

When we got home, Sara actually put her pen to the challenge. Here’s what she came up with. It might not win any contests, but I like it.


Riding in the car,
watching things pass by…
Out of the blue,
lying flat,
unrecognizable.
Lots of green
and some red.

Maybe they were elves
coming,
thinking it was Santa’s shop.
Maybe one was Frosty coming,
looking for the North Pole.

Seeing only someone’s yard,
they fell down to the grass.
Lots of green
and some red.
In their grief
I saw them.

14 Comments:

Blogger Heather said...

that is one talented 9-yr-old!

12:26 PM  
Blogger Craver Vii said...

That's sweet. Me gusta! It's so much better than "Humpty Dumpty was pushed."

12:51 PM  
Blogger Inihtar said...

A prodigious poet in the making!

1:06 PM  
Blogger Shammickite said...

Sara obviously has poetry in her soul, perhaps she inherits it from you?

1:17 PM  
Blogger christianne said...

Wow, I really love that. I also love how pure and innocent and willing to risk your daughters seem to be. What a blessing on their lives.

1:30 PM  
Blogger Mark Goodyear said...

I taught middle school and high school students for more years than I care to reveal. This is amazing work from an 9-yr-old!

She must have a good model somewhere...

(Odd tangent: the word verification for this comment is "EVIvL." Creepy.)

2:34 PM  
Blogger L.L. Barkat said...

Heather... thanks. I like to think so. :)

Craver... Te gusta? Wonderful. Yes, I'm glad she didn't pursue the murder theme (though I might actually try that one, being of a more dramatic frame)

Inihtar... thank you... yes, in the making... see, we all start somewhere. :)

Ex-Sham... or maybe from her grandma... how does one get poetry in the soul? Good question to ponder.

Christianne... I never thought of it that way. Yes, I suppose it's love that lets risk flow... I'm so glad their childhood is different from mine.

Mark... and she's a pretty good reader too. So... when that novel of yours comes out, she'll be right on it. :)

4:14 PM  
Blogger Martin Stickland said...

What a proud Mummy you must be, 'A chip off the old block' hey!

4:38 PM  
Blogger eph2810 said...

My goodness - that is just excellent for a 9-year-old. But they say: "The apple does not fall far from the tree"...

7:25 PM  
Blogger Ted M. Gossard said...

I like that. Very nice. Could be published, in "my book"!

3:42 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I'll give her an award, and you one for suggesting the poem idea. Awesome!

10:22 PM  
Blogger L.L. Barkat said...

Martin... yes, a proud Mummy indeed. :)

Eph2810... a wonderful thing, as long as she' picking up only my good traits. :)

Ted... thanks! What is "your book"?

Jennifer... yes, it's fun for me to watch her do beautiful things... but cool too that it somehow is part of a team effort. :)

2:47 PM  
Blogger Kat said...

Oh my, you've got a little writer on your hands there! :-) Loved the poem

1:58 PM  
Blogger L.L. Barkat said...

Kat... thanks! I'd like nothing better than if she grew up writing her days.

4:56 PM  

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