Deflatable Christmas
The other day, as we were driving through town, my daughter Sara caught sight of some deflated Christmas lawn ornaments. “Look at those lawn things. They look like they’ve died,” she said.
“Murder!” I cried. (I know, such responses could be dangerous to my children’s health, but, really, we just laughed. The lawn ornaments looked so absurd.)
Anyway, I immediately redeemed myself with a literary suggestion. “That would make a good poem.”
When we got home, Sara actually put her pen to the challenge. Here’s what she came up with. It might not win any contests, but I like it.
Riding in the car,
watching things pass by…
Out of the blue,
lying flat,
unrecognizable.
Lots of green
and some red.
Maybe they were elves
coming,
thinking it was Santa’s shop.
Maybe one was Frosty coming,
looking for the North Pole.
Seeing only someone’s yard,
they fell down to the grass.
Lots of green
and some red.
In their grief
I saw them.
“Murder!” I cried. (I know, such responses could be dangerous to my children’s health, but, really, we just laughed. The lawn ornaments looked so absurd.)
Anyway, I immediately redeemed myself with a literary suggestion. “That would make a good poem.”
When we got home, Sara actually put her pen to the challenge. Here’s what she came up with. It might not win any contests, but I like it.
Riding in the car,
watching things pass by…
Out of the blue,
lying flat,
unrecognizable.
Lots of green
and some red.
Maybe they were elves
coming,
thinking it was Santa’s shop.
Maybe one was Frosty coming,
looking for the North Pole.
Seeing only someone’s yard,
they fell down to the grass.
Lots of green
and some red.
In their grief
I saw them.
posted by L.L. Barkat at 7:19 AM
14 Comments:
that is one talented 9-yr-old!
That's sweet. Me gusta! It's so much better than "Humpty Dumpty was pushed."
A prodigious poet in the making!
Sara obviously has poetry in her soul, perhaps she inherits it from you?
Wow, I really love that. I also love how pure and innocent and willing to risk your daughters seem to be. What a blessing on their lives.
I taught middle school and high school students for more years than I care to reveal. This is amazing work from an 9-yr-old!
She must have a good model somewhere...
(Odd tangent: the word verification for this comment is "EVIvL." Creepy.)
Heather... thanks. I like to think so. :)
Craver... Te gusta? Wonderful. Yes, I'm glad she didn't pursue the murder theme (though I might actually try that one, being of a more dramatic frame)
Inihtar... thank you... yes, in the making... see, we all start somewhere. :)
Ex-Sham... or maybe from her grandma... how does one get poetry in the soul? Good question to ponder.
Christianne... I never thought of it that way. Yes, I suppose it's love that lets risk flow... I'm so glad their childhood is different from mine.
Mark... and she's a pretty good reader too. So... when that novel of yours comes out, she'll be right on it. :)
What a proud Mummy you must be, 'A chip off the old block' hey!
My goodness - that is just excellent for a 9-year-old. But they say: "The apple does not fall far from the tree"...
I like that. Very nice. Could be published, in "my book"!
I'll give her an award, and you one for suggesting the poem idea. Awesome!
Martin... yes, a proud Mummy indeed. :)
Eph2810... a wonderful thing, as long as she' picking up only my good traits. :)
Ted... thanks! What is "your book"?
Jennifer... yes, it's fun for me to watch her do beautiful things... but cool too that it somehow is part of a team effort. :)
Oh my, you've got a little writer on your hands there! :-) Loved the poem
Kat... thanks! I'd like nothing better than if she grew up writing her days.
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