On, In, and Around Mondays: Listen to the Small
Looking out over the lawn, its uneven terrain of purple spikey wild flowers and white violets, I perceive within myself a small ache.
Maybe a loneliness.
I sit very still and listen to it, until it grows large enough to ask for expression. Then I pick up my business journal and begin to write.
The loneliness translates itself, articulates. What I am really wanting is more face-to-face time with my colleagues. But my work doesn't work that way. It's all conducted through keyboard characters and finger taps, just as I am communicating with you now.
I daydream about working in an entrepreneurial space—a rented space where people from disparate businesses show up for the day. I think Claire Burge told me something about that, and how she met so many people.
But my life is not organized to allow for such a solution just now. I think back to words I wrote a few years ago, "I am going nowhere."
I keep letting the loneliness scrawl itself onto the lined paper. And suddenly the answer seems so clear. How could I have missed it?
Convergence. That's what I need once again. A way to take this ache and find its solution just inside the door.
When does the idea come? One moment it is just an ache. The next it is a plan to do something unusual along with my girls. Face-to-face, yes. But also virtual, with those colleagues of mine I never see.
I will teach the girls about business. I will not do it alone.
Sometimes it is good to ache.
_______
On, In and Around Mondays (which partly means you can post any day and still add a link) is an invitation to write from where you are. Tell us what is on, in, around (over, under, near, by...) you. Feel free to write any which way... compose a tight poem or just ramble for a few paragraphs. But we should feel a sense of place. Would you like to try? Write something 'in place' and add your link below.
If you could kindly link back here when you post, it will create a central meeting place. :)
This post is also shared with Laura Boggess, for...
posted by L.L. Barkat at 9:49 AM
16 Comments:
Sounds like you're feeling a little sehnsucht :-)
The walls close in some days, both in body and spirit. The writing life can be a lonely life, but then again, so do all sorts of other kinds of lives.
"Population over isolation"... that's what I tell myself some days, remind myself to find a new focus outside myself and get busy with community. Sometimes, most times, that community is within the walls of my home... my husband and children. They bring purpose to my days, especially when I feel like my life is going nowhere.
peace~elaine
I've had a similar ache for a few years. I recently read a great article in The New Yorker about the importants of groups in creativity. You'd love it:
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2012/01/30/120130fa_fact_lehrer?currentPage=all
And this for a short audio summary:
http://www.newyorker.com/online/2012/01/30/120130on_audio_lehrer
Proximity is so important to creativity, and knowing this makes me want to start a creative center for artists, scientists, inventors, musicians, entrepreneurs, and, of course, writers.
That you would respond well to that ache instead of, well, just aching...
with the result that others (maybe more than you intended) also benefit...
I'd like to start responding to aches that way, too. Thanks for sharing.
I know that ache so well. It feels so uncomfortable and yet is often the very inception of something wonderful the Lord has planned for me in the future. Thank you for putting words to the pain.
i know that place. it's like i carry a little nugget of desire to create with others and sometimes it just grows and pushes at the boundaries. no physical boundaries just children and life. sometimes family life can be utterly filling, other times isolating. thankfully the scale tips toward fulfillment ;-)
you are brilliant. your girls couldn't have a better teacher. listening to the small always takes you to the most amazing places. I love learning from you--about writing and life. this is lovely.
I love when God takes the ache and turns it into action. It makes a difference. Glad you were inspired.
aching is good...recognizing and exploring the ache is better!
Thanks for the beautiful post!
You inspire me.
There are places like that, in some locations. Cities, mostly. None where I am. There used to be a bookstore, but the owner "retired." Anyway, I know that ache, too, sometimes. But all aches I suppose are good, if used well -- as you used yours. Thanks for your example.
I love your quiet, thoughtful approach to problems L.L. I'm with Sandy - you inspire me to look deeper.
like how you didn't ignore the ache but went underneath to mine its source and solution...thanks, L.L. :)
I tend to just want to cover up the ache.. love how you dig deeper and let the ache drive you to a greater wholeness. Thanks
Thanks for the beautiful photo and post. Aching can be a path to deeper joy.
Love in Him,
Laurie
"Sometimes it's good to ache" - that's what I'm trying to do today, and lately: lean into the pain, and learn from it.
Post a Comment
<< Home