Looking for Father
Sweet Ann asked me to tell her about my experience of God. And I found myself saying this...
Personally, I have struggled with addressing God as Father. I think anyone who reads Stone Crossings will completely understand this struggle. For me, God as Lover is actually safer and more inviting. The tenderness, gentility, and deep longing implicit in that image speaks to my heart and wounded soul.
After Ann posted her piece, complete with my answer, I found that my soul took pause. I need to get past this, I thought. I need to experience God as Father.
In a way, I realize this has already begun to happen. During my year of outdoor solitude, there were many days when I felt it was Father who was present. The kind of father-God we see in Moses' blessing to Benjamin...
The beloved of the LORD rests in safety— the High God surrounds him all day long— the beloved rests between his shoulders. Deut. 33:12
Yes, under my pine tree, feeling lost and alone and plagued by failings, there were many days when I felt the immediacy of that blessing... felt like I was a beloved child getting a piggy back ride on a daddy's shoulders. Of course there were days when God came more as Lover. Or, believe it or not, even sort of as Grandmother. This reminds me: I have not read The Shack, but I hear that God the Father appears (disturbingly so to some readers) in the form of Black Mama and, later, Hippie Guy.
All this has left me musing. What does father really mean? In life? In the bible? For how we experience God?
I guess you could say I'm looking for Father.
Empty Field photo by Sara. Used with permission.
Sam's More Randomonium
LL's Father, at Love Notes to Yahweh
Ted's book club post 12 Clefts of the Rock: Responsibility