Thursday, June 03, 2010

Stealing Each Other's Words

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The game just got harder over at Tweetspeak Poetry. Now, goodness help us, we're writing sonnets by using each other's words.

Some of these lines are mine (that was necessary because of how we played the game), and some are sheared from others and rewoven. I've changed a few tenses and pronouns. It is still, in my opinion, crowd-sourced poetry. Have a look...

Another Communion

We spit out our past like sour wine,
but it clings to our tongues, thick coats
our minds as quivering lips at the edge of a wine
glass slip over crystal, timber soft notes

that float like lost stories, lost bonds, lost dregs,
because the first time we thought we'd misread,
so we mourn for lost loves and quietly beg,
"Who cooks for you," as though never fed.

We spend our hours discussing hope,
we are praying hard the off'ring will work,
oak pollen too, like ashen seeds of toxic rope,
orange cigarette butts, smashed cans by the curb

to drown out the shouts, the shouts from crazed czars
in our heads, wishing love was within us, not lost, not far.

Well! It is definitely more of a challenge to write a poem that makes sense using words that weren't originally intended to go together. But there you have it. :)

Thanks to the following fellow gamers for letting me steal and reshape their words: @JavaNicky, @KathleenOverby, @MattPriour, @mdgoodyear, @TchrEric, @Denadyer, and @Togetherforgood

Clock photo by L.L. Barkat.

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5 Comments:

Blogger Marcus Goodyear said...

Oh this just makes my day!

I especially like the turn between the octave and sestet (and those two sets of lines are also my favorite):


so we mourn for lost loves and quietly beg,
"Who cooks for you," as though never fed.

We spend our hours discussing hope, we are
praying, hard praying the off'ring will work,

12:14 PM  
Blogger L.L. Barkat said...

Oops! Your comment made me realize I'd garbled the exercise and messed up a rhyme. All better now. Though I probably preferred the original sound :)

Thanks for the encouragement!

12:27 PM  
Blogger n. davis rosback said...

you did it!

12:32 PM  
Blogger Maureen said...

Very nice!

12:53 PM  
Blogger sarah said...

you guys sure do have lots of fun with your poetising! :-)

2:57 PM  

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