Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Night-Stand Poetry

cup

I am trying my hand at a five-line poem form that she took the time to explain. I listened carefully, but I am not sure I know how it works. No matter. I don't believe that's ever stopped me much.


White cup,
cranberry stained,
waits for me
to rinse her
red-free.


Cup photo by L.L. Barkat. This poem is in honor of One Shot Wednesday.

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29 Comments:

Blogger Glynn said...

Simplicity, color, texture, expectation -- all in 12 words. Amazing.

6:01 PM  
Blogger Maureen said...

To borrow Kathleen's phrase, iLike!

6:04 PM  
Blogger Desert Rose said...

Simple and raw! i like this..:)

7:39 PM  
Blogger Brian Miller said...

nicely played...i wonder who or what else waits for us...smiles. nice one shot!

7:48 PM  
Blogger Linda said...

I like that form - and the poem is just right!

7:59 PM  
Blogger dustus said...

iLike2... and it's only 12 words. Nice!

8:02 PM  
Blogger Beachanny said...

Ah..takes me to the red wheelbarrow of Wm Carlos Williams. Feels like it too. Not quite as mysterious but equally imagistic and fragile feeling. Excelllent. Thank you.
Gay (@beachanny)

8:31 PM  
Anonymous RiikaInfinityy said...

Lovely words and image! =D~ I love the cup that place a smile on my face:D

9:27 PM  
Blogger deb said...

I liked this because your poetry is on my night-stand.

10:35 PM  
Blogger Mama K said...

Now I want to try! looks like fun. I like the picture to go with the poem. It's really quite amazing how much beauty there can be in a stained cup.

11:32 PM  
Blogger TALON said...

I love how much is contained in these words...such strong imagery! Remarkable--rules followed or not ;)

11:44 PM  
Blogger Wild Rose said...

Great imagery and lovely oneshot :)

3:36 AM  
Anonymous Sandra Heska King said...

Oh, I love this. And the photo is whoa.

I must try it.

8:32 AM  
Blogger Shashi said...

Simplicity at its best. Liked the way you brought it to the end.
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya

9:04 AM  
OpenID senderupwords said...

I agree with everyone here... Less is more. Love and Light, Sender

10:18 AM  
Blogger M.L. Gallagher said...

I'm borrowing Kathleen's phrase too.

I like!

Lots!

10:31 AM  
Blogger gautami tripathy said...

It works. I love minimalist stuff!

nowhere island

10:40 AM  
Blogger Eric Alder said...

I got a chuckle out of this because I'm eating lunch and I always have yogurt (and always rinse out the cup so I can recycle it)

The form is almost like haiku - simple and elegant. Well done!



WORD VERIFICATION: barypo
DEFINITION: the opposite of baryrich

12:59 PM  
Blogger Laura said...

I checked out the five line poem...so cool! She got me when she said to break the lines where you would pause to draw breath (or something). I like the natural way that breathes :).

1:37 PM  
Anonymous Belinda said...

What a memorable piece! Impressive.

4:41 PM  
Blogger Jingle said...

a most enjoyable piece.
masterfully done!

5:33 PM  
Blogger Caty said...

simple but good :)

9:11 PM  
Blogger emily wierenga said...

red-free...

i find such sanctification in these words.

lovely.

11:26 PM  
Blogger Pete Marshall said...

for so few words this was so full of description...and as glynn said..all in 12 words..amazing..cheers pete

8:22 AM  
Blogger Claudia said...

this is beautiful - can see the white cup right before my eyes - how much you said with such few words - really like it - glad you tried..

1:50 PM  
Blogger Charity Singleton said...

This is exactly what I love about poetry . . . it forces you by its very nature to be precise with words. Yours, L.E.'s, they are both just lovely.

8:57 PM  
Blogger JennyRain said...

i love this! it is so simple and yet I pictured each aspect of it. Very cool!

12:07 PM  
Blogger Graceful said...

Oh lovely. And I like this form -- it seems freer (more free?) than the traditional Haiku.

9:03 PM  
Blogger Children of Eve said...

Ask me when I see you what this makes me think of.

4:53 PM  

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