On, In, and Around Mondays: What's Your Happiest Moment?
We are sitting on a tapestried couch in a castle-like hotel. The side of the couch is high and velvety. I didn't think I liked high-sided couches.
But here we are, my Littlest and I, lounging together. Her head is on my chest and I am feeling the absolute smallness of her hand, and how soft are her fingers.
"What is your happiest moment?" I remember the question I'd seen somewhere just the other day. This must be it, I think. Then I recall my Littlest child's birth, how she came when no-one was in the room but me, and the nurse had rushed in just in time to catch her and toss her onto my chest, and my new baby's bareness was against me, warm and silent and motionless. And she blinked and I looked into her eyes for the first time, and I whispered, "You are *so* beautiful."
Now I am remembering other times, rooms where I was alone with just one other person. And I think, "Maybe that was my happiest moment." But then my writer-self interjects with grammatical thoughts about the "est" ending making it impossible to have more than one happiest moment.
Still later, I watch my Eldest touching the Fall-dried grasses. The castle-hotel is a memory of two hours ago, and other dark rooms are lost to years. Here in the sunlight, on top of a great mountain, I can see for miles down the Hudson River, and it is breathtaking, but it is my girl touching the grasses and her smiling and whirling while she knows I'm photographing her... it is this that makes me think again, "Maybe this is my happiest moment."
And suddenly I know that all my happiest moments are in a space, enclosed or wide-open, where it feels there is no space at all between me and just one other person. I know that the things I've done, like speaking to a crowd of 1,300 people, is energizing in its way, but will never be one of my happiest moments.
I know this too. I cannot choose just one. I will never have a happiest moment, at least grammatically-speaking. Happiness cannot, for me, be counted.
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On, In and Around Mondays (which partly means you can post any day and still add a link) is an invitation to write from where you are. Tell us what is on, in, around (over, under, near, by...) you. Feel free to write any which way... compose a tight poem or just ramble for a few paragraphs. But we should feel a sense of place. Would you like to try? Write something 'in place' and add your link below.
If you could kindly link back here when you post, it will create a central meeting place. :)
This post is also shared with Laura Boggess, for...
posted by L.L. Barkat at 10:21 AM
12 Comments:
my happiest moment was when I got married. Followed closely by holding my sons for the first time
I know what you mean. It is hard to choose the -est. And it seems as though some of the moments which were hardest at the time now belong in the universe of -est. I wrote about one of my happiest today.
Precious dear moments... how can one even consider choosing the -est. All special in their own right.
These photographs are so beautiful. I look at them and I understand how one would have trouble choosing. So much beauty...
You are so right -- it's impossible to choose just one.
I sense the joy and freedom in these photos.
you put the right words to it Laura... they can't be counted or grammatically referred to as "-est"... they are to be treasured and remembered dearly... and become forever as reasons to praise God. Beautiful girls Laura. =)
Maybe each of those moments is the happiest within the capsule of its own time and so each of them is always your happiest. Collectively they are your happiest moments and no moment has to be displaced by another. That's what I think. =)
Just now, trying to think of a happiest moment, I can't think of one. Just many, many moments of happiness like you have captured. No 'est just 'ness.
Holding my grandchildren for the first time is my first thought. Friday evening the three newest ones, who are also the oldest ones, become official as my bonus daughter weds their father. I doubt these children of 15, 12, and 8 will suffer me to cradle them like newborns, though.
We'll find a different way.
But I think Charity has it right: "No 'est just 'ness."
Your sharing reminded me of the time I was pregnant and I was anxiously praying that my baby would come out normal, etc etc. God said, "When you hold your baby in your arms, you will know how much I love you." And yes, when my baby came out, and he was absolutely perfect, I felt the love of God overwhelm me. That was one of my happiest moments. God is not stingy.He gives us many happiest moments! Patsy from
HeARTworks
The 'ests' of this life run through your head in a whirl, memories that bring reminders of goodness and beauty and love and longing. Happily, they keep coming and the list keeps growing. Maybe the gift is to find an 'est' in each moment, as we're living it. Thanks for these words, LL.
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