Saturday, April 24, 2010

Writing from Darkness

In Darkness

We are writing monster poems. Does that seem strange? I want to try my hand at it. Not easy. Here's my first and maybe I'll add more if I can find more...

Loch Ness

Sometimes on quiet mornings,
when a wooden boat carries red-haired boys,
passes over me— bottom shadow gliding—
I raise my head like a mutant swan, black,
a loon weeping, a winter-weary bird
seeking warmer air. I reach algae-eaten face,
red eyes, to stars invisible by dawn, whisper
that I understand what it is to desire
a constellation that would not assume
I prefer to live in darkness.

Sara's The Visit

LL Self-Portrait photo, by L.L. Barkat. :)

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Blogger sarah said...

lovely, the melancholy of it. But that photo is seriously scary!

4:52 PM  
Anonymous Maureen said...

How lovely are these lines: "whisper /... darkness."

The sadness is so tender, especially as it reaches the image of the "algae-eaten face, red eyes, to stars invisible by dawn". Strong visuals here.

I couldn't look too long at that image but I'll be sure to let you know if I have nightmares tonight.

5:31 PM  
Blogger moondustwriter said...

liking the monster theme - interesting
was great meeting you at Mt. Hermon hope all is well

you can find me at


6:41 PM  
Blogger David K Wheeler said...

Love Loch Ness. I wrote about something a little closer to home.

7:01 PM  
Anonymous Maureen said...

L.L. re Your comment on my blog: I was just messing/playing off Sarah's remark here... or mostly. The hands thing, the bed, the mirror. Noir on noir.

7:59 PM  
Blogger Corinne Cunningham said...

and the thing is we're all monsters in our own right at times, so all of us can relate a little bit.

8:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Niseag of the deep
grey blue dawn
why do you hide so?

8:56 PM  
Blogger Linda said...

I feel so sorry for the poor monster. Wonderful job Laura. I'm a little stumped on this one, but I'll give it some thought. I can remember, as a little girl, taking a running leap into my bed so the "monsters" hiding underneath couldn't grab my feet! Then I would bravely peer under the bed from my safe perch. I have no idea what I would have done if I actually saw something under there.

9:27 PM  
Blogger Laura said...

i like the part about red-headed boys ;). Both my guys had a preoccupation with Nessie, but the red-headed one the least. Now the youngest--Nessie's biggest fan--has a business in his classroom called "Creatures, Inc." He takes orders from his classmates and draws the creature they describe. Perhaps I should write on one of his creations.

10:32 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

*laughs* Ah, Nessie, a beloved creature who I prefer to believe exists, even if he's moved house.

And here's my contribution to the monster theme.

11:13 PM  
Blogger Louise Gallagher said...

Very cool!

... but a tad scary on the image side! :)

8:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


There's an empty human being
Stripped of any kind of love
Self is somewhere long forgotten
Covered in a leaden glove
Rather like a walking zombie
Plugged into a fallen world
Gets its orders from the airwaves
Hate and loathing are unfurled.

God is someone who's uncaring
Seems a million miles away
Can't be reached by helpless whimpers
Surely, He has had His day
Marching into unknown future
Like a lemming on a cliff
There is nothing that can save it
There is no such word as if.

These are people we must shine on
Let them see there is a hope
Hell can only be an option
If we show them how to cope
With a God who truly loves them
Wants to fill them with His Son
We're His vessels, His disciples
For the harvest, we're the ones.

9:49 AM  
Blogger Marcus Goodyear said...

This is my kind of poetry.

2:35 PM  
Anonymous Maureen said...

Here's mine, just posted: "A Monster's Love":

6:37 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

Oooh... here is mine!!

10:11 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I'm just getting into this monster thing.
Regardless of subject , your poetry is awe inspiring.

I'm going to read more of these , try to see if this is something I can try. I was seriously terrified of Mr. Potato Head as a child, maybe this is an angle.

1:17 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

i can see the neck of the swan as it arches.

i have written one for the prompt but it will only publish on friday morning 10 am ireland time.

it is called: 4 bricks under a bed

so if you just link to it should be ok.

thanks again for helping me to push limits with myself and thoughts i cling to.

10:24 AM  
Blogger Laura said...


here's my monster ditty:

i'm feeling very high drama after this. so fun, though!

4:48 PM  
Anonymous cheri said...

yes, "mutant swan"! he's not alone.

it did take some work trying a monster poem. makes we want to try some more. it only came to me after being stirred from an outside source...

12:26 AM  

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