For the Ghost of Christmas Present
I've decided to write 12 poems for Christmas. Dave's Noel Ghosts dare and giveaway inspired me.
For the occasion, I thought to try a villanelle again. It's been a while.
The villanelle has an aba rhyme scheme. It has five 3-line stanzas and ends with a 4-line stanza. The first line of the first stanza becomes the 3rd line of the second stanza. The third line of the first stanza becomes the third line of the 3rd stanza. The first line of the first stanza becomes the third line of the fourth stanza. The third line of the first stanza becomes the third line of the fifth stanza. Then, to wrap it all up in the sixth stanza, we do an abab and put the first line of the first stanza as the third line and the third line of the first stanza as the last line.
If that sounds confusing, take a look at the poem below. You'll see how it works. Why not try one? Maybe with a Christmas ghost in the lines?
The Ghost of Christmas Present
She drifts amidst the holly
picking berries round and red
for the love of you, or me
avoiding news of tragedy
along each jagged edge
she drifts amidst the holly
pretending not to see
where evergreens have bled
for the love of you, or me
along an evening's melody
where harmony has lately fled
she drifts amidst the holly
painting crimson on her knees,
a silent angel fallen, led
for the love of you, or me
pricking fingertips on memory,
leaving things unsaid
she drifts amidst the holly
for the love of you, or me.
Handmade Wrapping Paper Gifts photo, by L.L. Barkat. This poem is offered for One Shot Wednesday and Random Acts of Poetry.
Labels: 12 Days of Christmas poetry, One Stop Poetry, random acts of poetry, thehighcalling.org
40 Comments:
Wow -- this is amazing.
so beautiful and musical!! xxxJenne'
that was nice. i like your ghost...
i have never heard of a villanelle, as i am so new to writing and reading poetry. i should give it a try too!
I can see it...I can sense it... so beautiful.
My favorite word picture:
avoiding news of tragedy
along each jagged edge
she drifts amidst the holly
A villanelle is so hard to write - but as usual you do it beautifully.
Vianelle works really well (that wasn't meant to rhyme!) but the depth of the poem is what draws me in. Amazing write, I really enjoyed reading it. I'm going to have to play with form, I'm so bad!
Shan
@awdures
stunning. love this: painting crimson on her knees,
a silent angel fallen, led
for the love of you, or me
On the first day of Christmas...
Nice work with he villanelle form - great way to kick off the season. Deep, potent imagery at once beautiful, sad, and enticing.
Look forward to seeing what your 11 other poetry gifts are this season!
A good capture of the season in the scheme, great images, and use of form. Well done.
Wonderfully executed Villanelle. You give me the inspiration to try another. I love how this flows...so unforced.
Yay, the first Christmas poem I've read this season. Loved it.
Strong use of repetitive / progressive imagery.
Very well done, L.L. I tried to write a villanelle the other day. Tip of the hat. I especially like how the stanzas that end on the word holly flow together,; creates a nice overall effect.
Stunning.
Brilliant - really L.L. - just brilliant!
Wow, so magical and mystical. Love it. And awesome photo too. Handmade wrapping paper...beautiful.
Barcat this is very good. Villanelle is new to me. It looks so good. Going to try it out soon. Thank you
nicely done...i am in awe of villanelles...have yet to try one...and you pulled it off nicely...
The repetition gives it a beautiful musical quality. Wonderful word pictures.
oh indeed the time 'drifts'...
your words as like whispers of gentle breeze
Read it twice...once to see form and once again to enter in. Beautiful.
I too read it twice. This is remarkably well written and beautiful. Love and Light, Sender
Songs are good! images with set format
can be tough- Thanks!
Amazing piece. I wish I could take a class with you as the teacher. I have so much to learn in the poetry world. Blessings.
Incredibly well done, very haunting, and the flow was amazing. I've never taken any writing courses myself so I know nothing of certain formats & techniques, glad you highlighted the method as well! :) April
Got the haunting thing with this one. And the sacrifice. Indeed, the villanelle is quite the challenge. Great imagery!
Wow. I am so impressed. I learn so much from your work, and always enjoy myself along the way.
Thanks for stopping by my place and commenting. I appreciate it.
Well done. This poem had a very nice rhythm to it.
I also love the villanelle; and this reminds me the myth of Pyramus and Thisbe. Might just be "painting crimson on her knees"
Eep, very sorry! You've been officially her-ified
Love the form and its complexity, tho I think my brain is not grasping enough this evening to totally grasp the patterns. Will take another look another time.
But on to your message, simply beautiful.
I love this style... I'm not too familiar with it but you have done it quite beautifully! Enjoyed the read.
Great work on the poem anyway. Readshe. Priceless.
Its perfect ... I liked it very much...
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
Twitter: @VerseEveryDay
Blog: http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com
this was terrific...love the Villanelle.
She bleeds for the love of you and me another talent on Onshot
Absolutely--wow!
I agree with Melissa...wish I could take a class in poetry from you...I will take what I can get and am definitely going to try a villanelle...I think it would be so much fun!
And of course, this is beautiful and rings a lot...
avoiding news of tragedy
along each jagged edge
she drifts amidst the holly
that's why it took time for me to remember what was the hugest of ghosts that i wrote about...because this is how she comes
Loved it!
Thanks for this one shot!
retrieval
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